I'm sorry.

I've officially abandoned this thing. I seriously never meant to, but I've been busy with school and writing this Brand New ranking for gameFAQs.com. You guys can check it out if you want. It's on the rock music board and my username is tracylacey. GAH I'll write something meaningful soon, I promise.

James Miller and My Obsession With the O.C.

Does this blog make me sound too whiny? I feel as though all I do is use this thing to whine about things that make me mad. Nonetheless, I have something else bothering me that I know I alone can never solve. In Area Studies this week we watched a video on James Miller and his experience in Palestine. As you probably know, Palestine and Israel have been at war for quite some time. The video showed what Miller saw through his own eyes since he was the only cameraman. In the very beginning he films a suicide bomber blown to bits and young children picking up the flesh torn from the bomber's remains. Blood was everywhere. And these kids took it as an everyday thing. No big deal. Then we met Ahmed. He is a 12 year old boy living in Palestine just seconds away from the war sites. There's something different about Ahmed. We all know children as those with big bold curious eyes just waiting to learn and explore. Ahmed didn't want to learn. Or explore. He knew what he wanted to do. He wanted to be a martyr for Palestine and die young for the war. In their culture, dying is glorified as long as it's for your country. Ahmed's eyes were blank. Brainwashed, if you will. He hung out with 20 year old freedom fighters who used him as a look out before they attacked any sort of Israeli they could. The whole time I watched this movie I thought "Life doesn't have to be like this. These kids just don't know any better. They're not looking for peace. They're looking for destruction." I just wanted to go and yell that in Ahmed's face. You don't have to die for something just to prove a point. The first person who speaks out is the one who is brave; the one who dies for a non worthy cause is not the brave one. I see that as cowardly.

Finally, in the end as the tv crew and James Miller set off in the darkness to go back to a safe zone in Palestine, Israelis opened fire, hitting James in the neck and killing him instantly. The crew asked the people of Palestine to not make James into a martyr and put his name on their wall of martyrs. They didn't listen. The next day James' picture was on the wall. There was a celebration that another man has died for their cause. It made me crazy. It made me sick.

There was, however, a semi-happy ending. Ahmed made a video diary for the tv crew after James Miller's death. He said that there wasn't a day he didn't think about James and he was sad about his death. Ahmed decided that being a martyr wasn't for him. He wanted to be a cameraman, just like James. That video took a lot out of me. LIFE DOESN'T HAVE TO BE THAT WAY. There is always room for peace. Stubborn people just need to realize that money and power is not everything. It only causes death and destruction. It makes me think how lucky we all are to live in such a beautiful country where, I would think, war is always preventable. Though for the past 7 years it hasn't been. But I hate politics and I won't go off on a tangent about it.

On a lighter note, I have a new obsession. The O.C. I love you, Adam Brody aka Seth Cohen. I've borrowed all the seasons on dvd from Sam and I can't stop watching. I am currently on the 3rd season. I remember when it first came out on Fox and I thought "What the hell is this crap? Another copy off of Laguna Beach? Bitch please." It's actually a wonderful show! Seth is just so hilarious, Ryan is wonderfully badass, and Sandy just adds to the awesomeness. I love it so much, I even got over the fact that Mischa Barton has the most annoying voice ever. I haven't even been online at all lately because all I have been doing is watching the O.C. Just another thing to add to my amazingly dull life. I'm pretty late in the whole craze over it, but whatev. At least I'm into it now. Ugh well I'm bored so I'll throw on an O.C. episode. I can't wait to see what happens next!

Laterzzzz!!

xox. Tracy

It's like everyone around me is falling into a hole.

I don't mean this towards anyone specifically. Really, I don't. But just lately it seems like my friends and acquaintances are just going to bigger extremes and doing worse things. People I'm seriously close with are just shocking me no to end. It's really making me sad to see good people with brains and beauty throw it away for something such as a high. Or coolness. That shit doesn't fly with me. I don't care the excuse. People reading this might think I'm a total hypocrite for writing all this, but listen. I like to have my fun. I like to go out. I like to experiment. But only to a certain extent. There's only so many parties you can go to and so many drugs you can do before you realise that it's not life. We are not in college yet. We are in high school. Enjoy your childhood for as long as you can because it's never going to come around again. Keep this up and you will never fall out of the drinking everyday funk. I think it's time for people to realise what means the most to them right now. If it's not school or your closest friends or your family, we have a problem here. I'm sick of seeing people act like they're wanting to flush their lives down the toilet. This is really hurting me. I feel like staying home and watching movies or going shopping with my mommy just isn't considered good enough anymore. It's not "what are we doing tonight?" it's "where's the party tonight?" Save all that bullshit for college when it doesn't matter as much. Life is short. Childhood is not forever. Sure, you want your freedom. Who doesn't? But it'll come sooner than you think. Enjoy your family and friends and youth while you can. It'll all be gone one day. All of it. And you won't even see it coming. Make good choices, please. I don't want to see anyone I know's name in the obituaries any time soon.

It's 10 o'clock. Bedtime. Please think about what I said.

xox. Tracy

Ahhh it's finally starting to feel like fall! =]

My most favorite season of all is here. Today was the day I finally felt it in my bones. I left school early today because I was bored and had a stummy ache. So I get home, then go pick up Sam to go to the grocery store. When we got out of the car, I felt the chill of summer being let go, the smell of leaves starting to die. Theres a certain sadness when you see dying plants that wish for summer's warmth, but you know it will all grow back. So it's okay. Fall just lets you know that everything is going to be okay. I get to finally wear my northface and pea coats and scarves and faux skin moccasins. They keep my feet warm and cozy. I can finally bust out my tube socks and sweaters. Theres just an indescribable feeling related to fall.

When fall is here, I know that my BIRTHDAY IS SOON! I asked for a new ipod nano. The orange one. Who knows if my weirdo parents will get it for me, or anything for that matter. Yesterday I reminded my mom what I wanted and she told me to go a job. Supposedly I'm old enough to buy myself birthday presents now. I don't need parents for that anymore. Someone needs to take their head out of their ass. Just sayin.
^That is why I need to go far far away to Timbuktu for college.

This particular fall will be especially amazing because... Da da da daaaa.... BRAND NEW IS COMING OUT WITH A NEW ALBUM!!! Could life possibly get any better? I'm sitting here listening to Welcome to Bangkok and thinking "What could they possibly do to top themselves this time?" But I know they will. They always do. The Devil and God Are Raging Inside Me is the most beautiful album ever written. EVER. According to Jesse Lacey, In the Aeroplane Over the Sea by Neutral Milk Hotel is the most beautiful. I beg to differ, Mr. Lacey. Your work far surpasses any other artist in the world ever. You hear me? EVER ANYWHERE ANYTIME. You underestimate yourself a little. You genius, you.

Speaking of Brand New, this guy on gameFAQs has been writing rankings of every BN song. But for the past 5 days or so, he's been MIA. Like, no one knows where he is. My fellow nerds and I have been writing funny Brand New lyric puns to make fun of his disappearance. "I'm sure there's someone who knows where Guitarasaurus HAS BEEEEEEEN!!" Lololololol. And "He knows that this is what we want. A funeral keeps all of us apart". I came up with that one all myself. The thing is, he decided to go lose himself right as he was getting to the FINAL 3 write ups. So now I'll never know what the top 3 BN songs are, in his opinion. I happened to make a Brand New ranking myself. My top three are; The Boy Who Blocked His Own Shot (Guitarasaurus' number 10), Archers (his number 22 =O), and Limousine (his number 5). I don't see how Archers is number 22. It has by far Brian Lane's best drumming skills. It also has some pretty heavy lyrics about Jesse Lacey struggling with religion and being a good son/boyfriend. Wonderful song. Listen to it.

Speaking more of Brand New, I'm trying to get my whole grade to vote for Soco Amaretto Lime as our graduation song this year. It's so perfect. If you're not familiar with the song, you can listen to it here: http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=zDBp2SFIp8M
"I'm gonna stay 18 forever so we can stay like this forever. And we'll never miss a party cause we keep them going constantly. And we'll never have to listen to anyone about anything cause it's all been done and it's all been said. We're the coolest kids and we take what we can get."
Does that not scream graduation in your face?! The only thing is it references underage drinking pretty much throughout the whole song. I mean, look at the title. But who doesn't underage drink???? HUH??

Daymn this was long. Peace!

xox. Tracy

You're just jealous cause we're young and in love.