so my speech class has really opened my eyes this semester. i have this insane teacher that
stresses fighting your ego and being PRESENT in your life. notice the little things. take life as it comes and don't harp on the future or the past. now,
i've always felt that i have been good at living in the now. turns out
i'm for sure NOT good at it. or i wasn't before. i am seeing actual changes in the people in my class. i see how they are starting to care more about doing their homework and speeches and actually putting effort into them. it takes a really talented individual to break through college guy's "tough" shell, but my teacher is doing just that. i think he's got something special and he's really onto something when he says that we need to stop only caring about ourselves and be present in our own lives. i cant honestly say that i really really respect this man. and it doesn't hurt that he called my writing "virtually professional" and praises all of my speeches with A's. /
ilikehimformorethanjustthatreasonidk if you've noticed, whoever the hell reads this, but i don't feel like capitalizing today.
anyways, today was a spectacular day. i swallowed all my "problems" that i create for myself and i lived in the present. and let me tell ya, it was fantastic. the weather was a crisp 60 degrees; fall is among us. i got a chance for the first time all year to wear my
northface. it wasn't quite warm enough yet for my new tweed
houndstooth pea coat. I CAN'T WAIT TO WEAR IT so yeah i watched the sun set with my brother as we drove to whole foods with the windows down and the radio playing. the world was just peaceful for the evening, and everything felt calm and collected. the trees are still green and the grass is still alive, but that first chill of fall fell among
chicagoland today. and i am happy to exclaim that i was present to witness it. as the plants start dying, i am born into the present and i will never look to the past or worry about the future. it just is a drag. if all people on this planet had my speech teacher for a semester, the world would be a far less scary place. er, less hateful at least.
whenever i need a reminder that life is beautiful, i will think of
ron mark and how he told my class to be present. find beauty in the simple things in life. trust me, they are all around. a quote from one of my favorite movies is totally necessary in this blog.
"i guess i could be pretty pissed off about what happened to me. but it's hard to stay mad when there's so much beauty in the world. sometimes i feel like i'm seeing it all at once, and it's too much. my heart fills up like a balloon that's about to burst. and then i remember to relax, and stop trying to hold onto it, and then it flows through me like rain and i can't feel anything but gratitude for every single moment of my stupid little life. you have no idea what i'm talking about, i'm sure. but don't worry. you will someday."-
american beauty
xox
