I'll be 18 years old a month and a day from now. I can legally buy cigarettes, lotto tickets, drug paraphernalia, lighters, go to clubs, be charged for a crime as an adult, date men at any age, have no curfew (even though in Riverside the age for that is 17), and get as many tattoos and piercings to my heart's content. Now that's all well and good, but being a child is going to be missed. I can't play on the monkey bars without looking like an idiot or have an excuse for being terrible at my times tables because I'm "too old for that". I think I'm officially at a quarter-life crisis. Am I even through a quarter of my life yet? 18 times 4 is... Well at least I still have an excuse for not being good at my times tables for another month and a day.
Another reason I'm getting too old: college.
I really need to start to think about where I'm going and what I'm doing with my life. I want to be a psychoanalyst. I know that much. But where do I go to school? My mom has this thing where she doesn't let go to people so easily and told me that if I go away far to college that I might as well just "shoot her now". I've been looking at this really great school in New York, SUNY at Old Westbury. It's a great school, affordable, I could actually get in, and it's far enough away from Chicago where I can get away from it all but come home if I want. I love big cities, and what better city to be near than New York City? I could enjoy all the things it has to offer. I would love it so much, but my family makes me feel bad for wanting to go away. I'm so torn. What do I do? I just can't go to UIC and live at home. I need the college experience. I've had a wonderful high school experience, met a ton of great friends (who also told me they would die if I left them... ugh), and now it's time to move on. That's what growing up is all about right?
...Right?
xox. Tracy
P.S. 18 times 4 is 72. I used my laptop's calculator. I'll definately be dead by then.
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