My birthday was last Wednesday, people. Everyone is asking me if I feel any different. The answer is yes. I feel old, alone, and confused. I am officially no longer a child. I can never go back. I will always be an adult. On the plus side, I've come to a few conclusions. All my life I've been trying to figure out everything quickly to save time. I always want to figure out where am I going to college? And who am I going to marry? And what will become of me in ten years? I've realized that I don't need to know all these answers. I don't need to figure this out years in advance. I should just live in the now, right? I'm finished with my annoying self-doubt. I'm better than that. Ugh, now that that's off my chest, onto more important talk.
CHRISTMAS IS COMING! And you know what? This Christmas will suck. The economy sucks, so maybe I will get one gift this year. My family is a little estranged right now, so it will only be like four people at my house. I have no job, so I won't be buying presents for anyone. I'm 18 now, so the whole children and Santa appeal can't catch my eye anymore. I'm getting fatter, so I will gain even more weight during the holiday season. I almost can't wait until I find my Jewish husband because they fast for their holidays and I can participate. Oh wait, I'm not thinking like that anymore. I am a changed girl. Err.. woman. I hate the way that sounds.
Off to listen to Brand New. I downloaded Jesse Lacey's band before BN today, the Rookie Lot. They're good. I love getting my hands on anything Jesse Lacey/Brand New. Woo!
xox. Tracy
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