My anxiety and depression (well, I don't think I should formally call it that, since I was never diagnosed) have been really acting up since about a month ago. It seems like I've never had more responsibility than right now. I hate it. I hate school because it's too hard. AP stats is completely raping me right now. I can't keep up with anything and my teacher expects us to just understand everything at the drop of a hat. My grades are really slipping in every class, and I swear to God that I am trying with all I have. And it's not good enough. Then being yelled at by other teachers and my parents when I finally get in a good mood really is the cherry on top. I really don't need this. Senior year is supposed to be easy. I'm just so mad. I want to be done with school. We're not even halfway done with this year. Oh God, and I also have to take finals in a few weeks. I really can't keep my head above water, it's too much for me. Cut me some slack, please. Anyone who reads this, I am about to mentally combust and have a breakdown. So back off.
Sam is away on vacation. She has been for a week. I miss her so much. I don't want to be away from her. Kathleen went away to Indiana I'm pretty sure, too. I haven't seen Anna in three days. So on top of my horrible stress, my friends aren't here for me either. All I have are parents who hassle me and a brother who accepts nothing I do. Sam and I have a huge project to finish and shes not here. I haven't even started. If anyone sees me walking down the street today, hit me with your car. (Note: I'm half kidding, don't call the nearest mental hospital on me). But when I think about it, that wouldn't be the worst thing that could happen. Whatever, I'm tired. I'm going to go to sleep and hopefully I'll wake up 5 years from now.
xox. Tracy
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